Question: I am a Christian and my wife is not. I have been a Christian for 2&1/2 years. We have conflicts over my even going to church, much less trying to get active in our church. I go into stretches of depression once in a while. Mostly I think I need some help getting through the rough spots so that my depressed moods do not last long and so that the depression does not affect me spiritually like it has been lately. Do you know of Bible passages or books that might help me?

Read Pastor Rick's response below:

Response: 1. Your marriage - 1 Corinthians 7:14-16 Your responsibility, of course, is to remain in your marriage - to honor, pray for, encourage (live with her in an understanding way - 1Peter 3:7), love your wife (as Christ loved the church and gave himself for the church - Eph 5:25). Recognize that being married in general (and more so in the case of being married to a woman who is not yet a believer) will limit the extent of your Christian service and "church life.” See 1 Cor 7:32-34.

2. Depression - Paul probably went through a time of deep depression - 2 Cor 1:3-11. God used it to: 1) increase his ability to comfort others (vv4-6). 2) enlarge and deepen his faith in God (v9) 3) increase the prayer and thanksgiving of other Christians who knew of his struggle and God’s sustaining him through it.

3. Depression and support in being faithful in your marriage - It is very important to be in fellowship with other believers - especially other married men, whom you can get to know and trust, with whom you can share your burdens, and who will pray for you and encourage you. Find a small group of believers who meet for prayer and Bible study at breakfast or lunch time (sometime that doesn't conflict directly with time spent with your wife) and join them soon! Your church probably can help you find a group like this. Hebrews 10:24-25 instructs us not to discontinue meeting with other believers and encouraging one another.

4. Depression - Memorize Scripture. This is the very best thing you can do. Often a prominent feature of depression is negative thought patterns - various scenarios or "tapes" that the depressed person plays in his mind over and over. These have the basic message that things are bad and getting worse. You need to replace these thought patterns in your mind with God's Word - try memorizing Psalm 25; Isaiah 40:28-31; Isaiah 41:10; Jeremiah 29:11; 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, Hebrews 12:1-3 or a favorite passage. Go slow; start with just a verse or even a part of a verse. Discipline your mind to recognize negative thought patterns - when one of those tapes begins to play in your mind - and don't let it. Replace it with Scripture you’ve memorized. The Holy Spirit will use the Word of God to heal your mind, your emotions and your will.

5. Depression - You may benefit from medical help - especially if you find that your normal sleep patterns have been altered by your depression (for instance - inability to fall asleep because of your worries, anxiety, etc. or difficulty getting up in the morning to "face life"). I would encourage you to see a medical doctor (not necessarily a psychologist or psychiatrist, but that’s okay too; perhaps just your regular family doctor), describe your symptoms, ask his/her advice regarding anti-depressants. Don't feel this is somehow "unspiritual." There are elements in clinical depression which are definitely physical and can be treated physically/medically. If you have hay fever you take antihistamines; an infection, antibiotics; appendicitis, get a surgery. God has allowed us to live in a time and place where antidepressant medications are available. I think it’s probably poor stewardship not to avail ourselves of them when we are suffering from clinical depression.

Hope this is of some help. God bless as you walk with Him.
Rick Lum